The Shoe

Kids are evil

They were dirt poor, but I never knew just how poor until that morning on the playgrounds ...

Elizabeth was just one of the kids. We didn't know anything about her and she also didn't offer any information neither did the grownups knew anything about her and her family. But children usually don't mind if someone doesn't want to talk about themselves. So she was accepted for the friendly child she was, always smiling.

She wasn't in my class, but she was fun on the playground and she was pretty. She had a round little face, small mouth and clear green eyes that went well with her flaxen hair.

In front of the school was a large area of tarmac (perhaps it wasn't so large as I remember) for cars and other vehicles.

On this particular day we were kicking a ball around on that piece of tarmac. It was only a tennis ball, but the fun was the same. We were laughing and running around trying to kick a goal, which was through two small trees out to an open field beyond.

Riana's gang and mine were trying very hard to outdo each other. Elizabeth was with Riana and she was unfortunately for us a very good kicker. They were winning and I was a bad loser. If we could take out Elizabeth, I figured, then we could still win but the girl was nimble footed and quick, too quick for any of us to catch.

So we put pressure on Elizabeth, sure that she would rise to the challenge and make a mistake or hurt herself. But she was beginning to enjoy the whole competition thing and was laughing as she kicked the ball through the two trees.

Riana grinned triumphantly and I was getting hot under the collar.

And then we managed to corner Elizabeth and she had to get through us ... She kicked as hard as she could and the next moment her shoe came off and went straight up into the air. Of course we laughed, but when I looked back at the girl, she was anything but laughing, she was close to tears.

On her foot was only half a sock – for all to see. The front part was missing, and I could see that the other sock was in an even worse state.

The others were still laughing, but as I turned around to face them, I realized they were laughing at Elizabeth's half a sock. It was funny, it was very funny to them and I felt sorry for the girl ... and it wasn't funny anymore to me.

I hesitated, torn between becoming the laughing stock myself and taking Elizabeth's side. I heard the others laughing and making remarks, ridiculing the girl who was already close to tears.

No one thinks clearly when your own ego is in jeopardy and I could never remember the reason why 

I picked up her shoe and took it to her. I can only remember the holes in the soles and the cardboard that was placed inside.

I honestly wished I hadn't seen that. It placed an enormous weight on my nine year old shoulders. She didn't look at me when I handed her the shoe and all I could think of to say, was: "I'm sorry."

You know, having to say "I'm sorry" means that you are at fault, but I wasn't that day. I  apologized for all the people in the world who mocks the less fortunate. I always told my children years later that one should never be in a position where you have to say "I'm sorry", because sorry makes nothing right. You should rather strive not to find yourself in that position – being sorry puts you on the wrong side, it is painful and the feeling of the guilt that goes with it, never goes away.

Elizabeth and her family moved away at the end of that school-year and I never heard of her again. 

But I also never forgot her.

We all go to one or other school, find friends and enemies, learn what we like and don't like, but very few learn lessons that would help them in any way through life. Elizabeth unknowingly taught me to look at people past their outer appearance. Monsters hide behind beauty and beauty often hides behind the faces of those people others tend to look down upon.

Elizabeth was never again part of Riana's gang, neither of mine because after that day she kept to herself, still hurting from the malicious laughter.

I would have liked to see Elizabeth again if only to tell her that even if the world had treated her badly, she had made a difference to at least one person on earth, and I wish her well.

Take care.

Riana and Rivalries

Rivalries, what would we do without them?

It was a year I'll never forget. Our grade 4 teacher had a habit of telling us in front of the whole class where on the ladder of performance we stood. It was very embarrassing to say the least, but it also inspired us to work harder for better marks.

I was a very lazy one, and I remember that first term in grade 4 when she handed out our reports, she told every one exactly where we stood on this ladder of achievement. I was shocked and embarrassed to find out that I was 17th out of a class of 30. I didn't take embarrassment very well, it made me angry – and Riana, my arch enemy, was first. It was too humiliating.

I didn't like Riana, the biggest achiever in our class because she was high and mighty and very important – to herself of course. She was always first in the class which really irked me. I believed I could be better than her, and with determination I studied and worked hard because I had a goal. I wanted to be better than Riana. By the second term I was second in the class and at the end of the year I was first.

It wasn't fun though, because I had to work hard to stay ahead, but I did it because I didn't like Riana. It's amazing what anger can make you do, isn't it? The poor girl probably never knew why I made first place.

Another problem was that we had two gangs in school. I was leader of the one, and Riana was leader of the other, but they were the goody two shoes of the school. My gang was a fun and mischief gang and we always won a fight. Today it would just be groups of students flocking together because they share interests, but back then we called them gangs because it sounded deliciously bad.

By the time I got to grade 8 I lost interest in schoolwork again. Perhaps I got scared of so many smart kids around me ... I remember a boy named Paul. He had black hair and the bluest eyes I've ever seen on a person. And he was so smart that I decided it would take just too much effort to keep on staying in first place. Besides, there were too many other things that caught my interest.

After we graduated from high school I never heard from Riana again, but I also didn't miss her. We were never friends anyway.

And then ... many years later, 48 years to be precise, my sister's daughter got married and I attended the wedding. One of my sister's sisters-in-law was once a very good friend of mine, and a member of my gang! But we had also lost contact completely over the years. And then the wedding brought us together again ... and it brought Riana too. She was a close friend of Helen, the lost member of my gang.

I remember being surprised at how well Riana looked because I couldn't remember her face clearly. She must have been very beautiful when we were young, but I never noticed it then. Now we were both old and wrinkled and the hardships of life we had gone through showed on our faces, but she was still goodlooking.

You know what's wonderful about growing old? You don't get jealous anymore. Riana and me and our mutual friend, Helen, talked about many things, but very little about the time we went to school together. It wasn't important anymore. And it was then that I discovered that she had cancer.

Strange how your outlook suddenly change when you hear something like that. Nothing matters anymore except that you wish it isn't true, that Riana will live and that we will become friends after all these years.

But we did become friends on that day. We found that we had a lot in common, that there was no reason for antagonism, that we wished each other well.

She died three months later, and I lost a friend, and I wish that I could have had more time with her.

Antagonism and anger is wasted energy in the end. Who knows what you miss by shunning someone you don't like. I'm going to make time for people who had never been my friends. I don't want to miss more than I already did.

You do the same.